Just a cook here but I HATE making Chicago dogs. I work at a mom and pop ice cream and sandwich shop and the shear amount of things I have to pile on one hot dog and try and make it presentable annoys the shit out of me. There are a lot more labor intensive items but nothing annoys me like that damn dog. Also, I hate Chicago dogs anyway so…maybe just a built in bias
Does working the line at chipotle make me a “chef”? If so, it was the quesarito.
Not a chef, rather a bartender. Used to work at a bar that had two-for-one cocktails on a Wednesday night which applied to any cocktail we offered. For the most part, it was completely fine: line up a bunch of glasses, fill a bunch of shakers with the required booze and mixers, shake and tip into the glasses.
Mojitos were the bane of my existence, took about 5 extra steps when making them and the mint stuck to the shaker so you couldn’t just rinse it and reuse it for the next drink. And they looked fancy so, without fail, as soon as I made a batch of mojitos for a customer (they typically ordered 6-8 at a time due to long lines), the next person would think “ooooh, they look good, I’ll order a round”. Cue me stuck behind the bar for 30 minutes while the line grew longer and customers starting getting annoyed.
Motherfucking poached eggs. Let me tell you a story. It’s Sunday, you went HARD last night. So did everyone else on your crew, you’re all running on four hours of sleep on the sixth day of your shift because Monday is the day the restaurant is closed. Last month the owner decided BRUNCH WAS A GOOD IDEA. So that that fat bastard and his friends could come in and drink mimosas all day. You put on two pots of water and add just the right amount of vinegar to them keeping one just warm and the other in front of it just under boiling. You know two isn’t enough for service, but you don’t have space for anymore. It’s like seeing that your car doesn’t have any brakes but driving towards a cliff anyways, but what can you do? It’s service time! ORDERING: 3 benny, 4 frittata, 2 lobster grits, 1 fruit platter, 10 muesli. The day begins, the water of pot one starts getting cloudy from the first six eggs dropped for the benedicts. Two hours pass, pot one is now only half full, looks like milk with bits in it, you can smell the vinegar in it searing on the sides of the pot. That’s one down, you run it to dish, put a rush on it but you know the dishwasher is backed up, one pot left. Three more hours pass, as the poached egg orders keep coming and the water gets worse you start adding in extra eggs to compensate for the ones you break trying to get them out. It’s eleven thirty, ORDER: 8 benny – SOS 4, Hardpoach 2. That’s the moment. THAT’S THE MOTHERFUCKING MOMENT THE WATER SHITS THE BED. The mass of eggwhite on the bottom and the opacity of the water makes putting in 16 eggs impossible, let alone the 18-20 you’d need to actually get the order done. The first pot doesn’t even have water in it. Your head is still fucking throbbing and why the fuck do you even have to deal with this shit on a SUNDAY HOLY SHIT WE STILL HAVE DINNER SERVICE FUCKING KILL ME JOSE JUST SLIT MY FUCKING THROAT NOW JOSE I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT. This ladies and gentlemen is why I hate making poached eggs.
When I worked at Panera everyone hated making the roasted turkey avocado BLT. It was on the smallest bread and would always fall apart.
A sandwich with 6 different types of bacon, a maple bacon glaze and bacon aioli. It is an absolute mess and the glaze burns on the trays super easy once it’s put in the salamander
Used to work at an independent family restaurant in Canada and they used to have a tower of poutine. It was a terrible burden for the cooks to prepare and us servers could never get it to the table in one piece.
I worked the overnight shift in a bakery. to this day, I don’t even like to eat donut holes, let alone make them. we had this giant stainless-steel gadget that I was supposed to fill, then crank so it dispensed small bits of batter into the deep fryer, but it was messy, time-consuming, and really a two-person job if only for purposes of basic kitchen safety. also, they never really trained me on how to use that thing.
If it has the word platter involved; I feel my piss begin to boil.
When someone wants something gluten free. Not enough people order gluten free so we don’t prep it beforehand. And gluten free pizza bases take ages to cook as opposed to normal. Just slows you down when it’s busy. I also always wonder if the person is actually a celiac or just decided to go gluten-free because it’s the thing to do now.
Fucking cheese boards. Nothing is more annoying than having to get a cheeseboard out in the middle of a busy service.
Former pizza cook. We had red sauce pies and white sauce pies. White was olive oil, ricotta, and garlic. Red was normal marinara.
Some people just HAD to have a half white, half red pizza. It took twice as long and ended up cooking funny because the white side would be done first. Then they’d bitch when the price was higher than a normal pizza.
Full English breakfast.
I really enjoy making them but it’s just way too much effort for one order when it’s busy.
I used to hate cooking fresh lobsters at Red Lobster. I would have to get it out of the tank and stab it in its fucking neck, rip its stomach open, and cook it. Which by the way, It gets cooked in a microwave on steroids, unless you order it grilled.
When I was a cook I used to hate making quesadillas. We made them in skillets and I only had 6 burners to cook everything in my part of the kitchen with. When groups would come in and order 4 quesos and some other dishes and I would get yelled at because I took longer than the 15-minute window we were given drove me mad sometimes. Yes, they are easy to make. Just they take up to much space and cause a backup of tickets when they come in bunches.
Mozzarella balls! Absolute nightmare, even when we double bread crumb them they love to explode in the fryer.
I’m a catering cook and we have a number of things that are rather annoying. Any sort of passed “puff”, because pâte á choux is a pain in the ass. Squeezing 500 dabs of it genuinely hurts. Roasted veg. 15 hotels pans of raw veg just gets boring to make. Fruit displays. They take a while to prep, and no one eats them. Prosciutto wrapped blue cheese filled dates. Yes, they are delicious, but I have to make 400 for your 200 guests and a lot of people don’t eat dates or blue cheese. Anything skewered. Again, a lot of labor. I’m sick of spring mix, goat cheese, apple, cider vin salads. Can we get a new trend?
Post first published on Thechive